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Monday, July 31, 2006
Feel lonely...
Haiz... Same problem norx... Don noe what to say... But feel very lonely nowadays. Maybe because friendship wif her haven repair, den feel lonely in class coz nobody to talk to. Sometimes I reall feel tat I had done a lot of bad things in my past lifetime. Tat's why I get my retributions now. Tat's wat I think norx... Haiz...

There muz be sth tat make me realise all these. First is my relationship wif him, haiz... Heart breaking... Den it's my friendship wif her, sadness... Haiz... Feel troubled and upset. But there's nth tat I can do norx. Like wat ms neo told me, there's nth tat i can do actually. Jus to wait and wait, wait till our fate comes back. If it never come back, den jus like tat norx. Lead my life in a total sadness...

I noe I still hav other friends other than her, but are they as close? Some more in class how? No one to talk to... Hiaz... Life is in a miserable state for me. Maybe tat's my fate ba... Den I hav to face it. Think positively, maybe u all would say, but how?







~ { 6:46:00 PM }
*Hoping for the little hope*;

Monday, July 24, 2006
Chance...
A chance means alot of things to me. A chance can let me repent and restart again. Am I right? Don noe... If I had a chance, I will surely restart everthing again and erase my mistakes in order not to make us so sad. But, I don hav le... I already had alot of chance le, u give me times and times. Yet, I don noe how to cherish these chance. I'm sorry to disappointed u... 384028074...

But is tat all the chance tat u hav given me? And no more chance for me le? Haiz... How I wish we can go back again... Go back to where we first met, go back to where we walked home together the first time... Haiz... Now no chance le ma? I believe in fate, believe in u... I believe we can be like before, but chances maybe very little, 1%? Haiz...

But maybe tis is how fate treat us ba, maybe we were suppose to be like tat? Or maybe there will be another series or episodes for us? Don noe... But a chance means alot to me... A chance tat I hav been wanting for long... A chance tat may change wat we are now, change everything between us. And heal wat is between us... Maybe?

I longed for the return of us... I want it so much, maybe can say desperately? Haiz... I feel lonely without the days we were together, I feel upset and depressed... But can anything be done?




~ { 6:24:00 PM }
*Hoping for the little hope*;

Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Disappointment
Haiz... Friendship haven repair yet... It's worse... Sadded... Some more ytd very sad, extremely sad. Coz she did one thing to me tat is really too much. Haiz... How should I say? Maybe tat's her real character? I don noe...

Wanting to recover our friendship wif u initially de. Den wrote u a note to u... In the end... u pass it to the back for them to look at it... Don u think u are really too much? If u don wan reply, u can jus throw it away, why muz u did tat? It not only made our friendship bad, it also made me disappointed in u, it made me upset abt it for the whole day.

I don noe why u did tis. but is tat wat u really wan? I treasured u as my fren, den think of anything jus wanting to be like wat we were before. But u done tat... Haiz... Don noe wat to say abt u le. It's like our friedship is hurt and can never be the same as before le. I tried my best to save our friendship, but to no avail. Haiz...

Guess we cannot be best friends le, maybe be a stranger ba. Probably tis will make u happier... But definately I'm not going to be happy as wat we were before...




An Hao: 96024064 =p

~ { 5:18:00 PM }
*Hoping for the little hope*;

Thursday, July 13, 2006
sadness, alone...
I don noe why muz ppl treat me like tat, I'm jus an ordinary girl, why muz ppl treat me like tat? My friend, my dear best friend... I didn't offend u, i didn't even say anything or do wat, but why muz u hurt my heart. Wat u hav done ytd hurt my heart really alot, and 1 thing u done today made me wanna cry.

I only explain to u how to do the geo question, den u say me 'attitude'... I explain to u nicely in my normal way, den u say me 'attitude' wif no reasons. Wat's the meaning of tis? I didn't talk to u in an attitude way, neither am I an attitude person. Den i was angry and tried to explain to u i'm not attitude. But u explain another meaning of attitude, den u finished and u jus ignore me. Can u put urself in my shoes? Wat if i'm the one tat say u 'attitude'? Would u mind? Would u get angry? Would u be like me? And it's not the first time u say 'attitude' tis word to me.

Den today u were searching for the english handout, I thought u didn't bring and I shift mine to the centre to share wif u. Den u pushed away and give me the face tat nobody like. I feel like crying tat time, really wanna cried out loud. Today u ignore me completely, don wan do anything related to me, don wan get close to me.

I don noe why are u like tis. And it hurt me alot when u said those things and jus ignore me like tat. I hav my feelings, u noe? I'm ur friend, i'm ur close friend. Den u treat me like tat... Since last time we quarrel and become ok le, i feel tat our friendship are so fragile. I feel tat we were not like before, when we can talk things nicely and shared our sadness. I lost everything... My love, my best friend... I feel alone, i feel like crying... i don now why... I really don noe why... I hate it...






An Hao: 96024064 =p

~ { 3:09:00 PM }
*Hoping for the little hope*;

Monday, July 10, 2006
Memorable memories...
Hmm... I guess tat my most memorable memories are the times tat I am in the CO... Being a CO student, I love music. And that is why I am so devoted to CO. Mia Musica had ended on 8th of july 2006 at victoria concert hall. The concert was a succesful one, a very successful one.

That day, 8th of july, in the morning, we were at sch. Carrying instruments down to concourse and get ready. Den, we were training our singing at central square. At first everybody was like err... Den the spirit went up and the whole CO was shouting and singing. We went to the canteen and wait for our lunch. Den we played bomb, I was feeling very happy as the choir and band played wif us too... Unfortunately, our lunch had not arrived and we hav to go to VCH den eat.

We arrived there, had our lunch quickly and proceed to our rehearsal. First wan finale, den got some new arrangement and the choir are blocking the CO. Haiz... Full rehearsal started and we were waiting. Around 5, we finished liao den eat our dinner and changed our costumes, do make up and blah blah blah...

The concert was near and we were getting nervous and nervous. Before concert, mr low talked to us and the concert start. All of us very nervous norx, den like very excited. We waited at the backstage and wait for our turn. Den interval liao, den our turn liao. Weee... We went up, feeling nervous. Den start our show liao.

'Perhaps' was good, but mr low's conductor stick slipped out. Hahaz... 'Tong Hua' was real good, got singing one. 'Mambo' was marvellous, and we got moved cute cute de action. 'Matsuri' was ok, jus tat percussion part was quite bad. Den finale le, cool... Everything was perfect. Den went home liao... Feel really sad...

At sch, pack instrument le den got debrief. Teacher praise us and give speech. Followed by wan er give speech, touching one. Den me give speech. Gave liao den cry... Sobz... Sobz... Really can't bear to leave MSLCO, step down le den feel like very sad. Cried quite long, den angelyn hug me, feel even sadder.

Not tat i don wan put down CO, is tat CO gonna go down the drain. People are quitting, new CMCs are like shit, den teacher like tat. What am I suppose to do? I really cannot bear to leave them, den cannot put my heart down to concentrate on my o lvl. i noe i am suppose to, but if CO is fine, I don hav to worry... As long as my heart is still wif CO, i wun let it go down... CO will be good, I wan it to be good...



An Hao: 96024064 =p

~ { 6:30:00 PM }
*Hoping for the little hope*;

Thursday, July 06, 2006
Disappoinment in MSLCO
There was never a time that i cried so much jus for CO.Ytd was as usual, we hav CO practice. We had practice for finale de pupil first, den we combine wif Yaya Lee. Hahaz... The finale was good, got mr iskandar come to see us practice. Den he got make some suggestions which made the whole songs even more nicer. Way to go...

Den Yaya Lee combined wif us. At first, I was like errrr... But later, he made us very enjoyable. He made mambo and matsuri faster. Den all the CO go crazy, playing faster and shouting and singing along wif the songs. Fun... CO has indeed come back, and I think tat is true. And wat Bh say, "It's Life..." But iszit bcos of Yaya Lee? Hmmm...

Here comes the disappoinment... The new CMCs list is out and I was shock. Few of the CMCs are those tat will shake the whole world one, means the CO will be ruined by them, sort of. Haiz... Few is like they cannot make it one de norx. Angry... Disappointed... Sadded... Haiz... Why muz it be like tat? Will the CO collapse? I'm afraid... I don wan tis kind of ending... I don wan... Den I got cry... Sobz... Cry for quite a long time, thinking tat tis is my last CO practice, yet is like tat, Sobz...

MSLCO... The CO tat keep rising up, but will it jus fall from 20th floor down? Don noe... But I will make sure it wun falls, it will maybe fall to 18th floor. Den we saved it to go high up... I hope it'll be like tis norx... CO... Jia You...





An Hao: 96024064 =p

~ { 3:51:00 PM }
*Hoping for the little hope*;